


oh, he's sweet (as applesauce)

by irleggsy



Series: irleggsy | Shiratorizawa Fanweek 2020 [4]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, M/M, Not Beta Read, SUPER fluffy like tooth-rottingly sweet, Shiratorizawa Fanweek 2020, Team Bonding, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:14:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25062961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irleggsy/pseuds/irleggsy
Summary: Shiratorizawa has a tradition of going to McDonalds dressed in formalwear at the end of the season. This year is no different. Well, almost.Goshiki looks Kawanishi up and down—not in a suggestive manner, but a flabbergasted one. “I was just wondering… why are you dressed in a Hello Kitty tracksuit?”Kawanishi looks down at his outfit, then back up to Goshiki. “I’ve got a tie on too, see?” He pulls it aside. “I’m dressed up,”Shiratorizawa Fanweek Day 5:| Firsts | Formalwear |Idol/Music AU
Relationships: Goshiki Tsutomu/Kawanishi Taichi, blink & you'll miss it Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Series: irleggsy | Shiratorizawa Fanweek 2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1811692
Comments: 21
Kudos: 168
Collections: Shiratorizawa Fanweek 2020





	oh, he's sweet (as applesauce)

**Author's Note:**

> day 5 of [2020 shiratorizawa fanweek](https://stzfanweek.tumblr.com/)!! yesterday i made something REALLY REALLY FUCKING SAD (my beta reader CAN confirm) which is saying something because 90% of what i write is angst. so, i free-wrote this fluffy more light-hearted ~~shitpost~~ fic!!
> 
> this is based on an actual tradition i had with my dorm a few years back, i have a soft spot in my heart for this one. no content warnings for once!!

When Goshiki steps out of his room to show off his outfit to the team—his tuxedo perfectly fitted and his hair  _ parted _ and  _ styled  _ holy shit _ — _ Kawanishi takes a sharp intake of breath and not-so-quietly whispers, “Damn, so  _ that’s _ why I’m gay,”

Shirabu, who’s standing right next to him, whacks him across the back of his head with his hand and it _ hurts _ —none of them are top-tier volleyball players without the arm strength to back it up—but the sting is so totally worth it when Goshiki turns an  _ impressive _ shade of red.

He lets out an embarrassed noise, covering his face with his hands. Kawanishi almost laughs. Almost.

_ Cute. _

Tendou, the closeted mom friend (who doesn’t quite have his shit together enough to be the mom friend so it’s probably more accurate to call him the vodka aunt), lets out an indignant squawk and shields Goshiki from Kawanishi’s view. His body may be stupidly long, but his limbs are thin and gangly, so it doesn’t quite work. “How dare you objectify Tsutomu-chan like that!” 

Kawanishi ignores him in favor of quietly observing Goshiki. When he peeks through his fingers and they make eye contact again, Kawanishi shoots him the sleaziest, most suggestive grin possible, topping it all off with a comically exaggerated wink.

Goshiki looks distressed, but there’s a pleased flush underneath it all. They’ve been through this song and dance before.

Semi grabs Kawanishi by the collar of his tracksuit like a mother cat grabbing the scruff of a kitten’s neck. “Allons-y you useless homosexual,” He straightens his own tie with his other hand. “We’ve got a McDonald’s to get to,”

Kawanishi scoffs. “This is the stupidest thing, I swear,”

“It is not stupid. It is a team-bonding exercise,” Ushijima deadpanned.

Shirabu makes a bewildering honk-type noise. “How you say that with a straight face is beyond me,”

“Holy shit, was that supposed to be a laugh?” Tendou wheezes.

Shirabu stomps on his foot, smirking at the high-pitched noise he makes, then continues his spiel. “For fuck’s sake, we’re going to McDonald’s dressed in tuxedos and you call it a team-bonding exercise? This is ridiculous,” Tendou quickly gets his revenge by jabbing him in the side.

“Don’t talk to your upperclassmen like that,” Hayato scolds. It’s not a very effective scolding; he too is seconds away from braying like a donkey. “Respect your elders.”

Reon nods in agreement, his face a near-perfect image of seriousness had it not been for the shit-eating twinkle in his eye. “It’s important to reflect on your culture. Follow your roots.”

“This is a volleyball club,”

“These are your ancestors,”

“What?”

“You must bring honor to our family.”

“Oh  _ fuck off.” _

_“Simba._ _Remember who you are.”_

Goshiki bursts into laughter.

It’s a laugh so cute that it makes Kawanishi melt a little just listening to it.

“Homo,” Semi hisses into his ear, fully audible.

Kawanishi, without missing a beat, says “It’s not gay if our feet don’t touch,”

Ushijima frowns. “I believe you are a homosexual regardless of whenever your feet touch,”

Tendou, trying to hold back his laughter, breaks out into an unruly coughing fit. “Ushijima. Truly, you are a philosopher of our times,”

“Kawanishi-senpai?” Goshiki asks.

Kawanishi raises an eyebrow. “What, no  _ Taichi?” _

Goshiki blushes. “...Taichi-senpai,” The second-year almost faints right then and there. (Someone mutters  _ ‘I’m going to get a cavity, they're so sweet. Disgusting.’ _ ) Goshiki looks him up and down. Not in a suggestive manner, but a flabbergasted one. “I was just wondering… why are you dressed in a Hello Kitty tracksuit?”

Kawanishi looks down at his outfit, then back up to Goshiki. “I’ve got a tie on too, see?” He pulls it aside. “I’m dressed up,”

Shirabu rolls his eyes. “The only suit he has is his uniform, and it got ruined during lunch when Tendou poured an entire jar of kimchi on his lap,” He idly inspects his nails. “We decided we had to make him wear something equally ridiculous,”

Tendou straightens up at Goshiki’s betrayed puppy eyes. “Semi made me do it!”

“I did _ not,” _

“You dared me to!”

“You had the option to say no.”

“It’s the principle of the thing—”

“Our uniforms are goddamn white, obviously I was kidding—”

Kawanishi glances around, noticing their missing companions for the first time. “Wait... If Yunohana and Soekawa don’t have to come, why am I here?” he complains.

“Well, for starters, their excuses are more legitimate than ‘I don’t feel like it’. Also, they went last year,” Hayato raises an eyebrow at him. “Yunohana is busy puking his guts out in the infirmary and Soekawa is attending his uncle’s funeral, God bless his soul,” He clasps his hands together in an overly dramatic manner, sending a prayer to the heavens. They have a moment.

“Wait a moment, wait a moment. Wasn’t his uncle like, a dickbag?” Semi interrupts. 

“Oh totally, he deserved to die,” Hayato says sagely. “Just gotta keep up formalities you know?”

Shirabu buries his face in his hands. “God, this team is so fucking weird. No wonder there’s a rumor that we’re a cult,”

Kawanishi blinks. “Wait, is that why people keep asking me if we have ‘team orgies’?”

“...Um, excuse me?” Everyone one of them turns to face a terrified first-year standing a good distance away. Not exactly a welcoming sight, especially when every one of them is tall enough to tower over her. “I need to get to my room… c-can you please stop… b-b-blocking the hallway?”

The team is suddenly reminded that they’re all standing in the hallway of a first-year dorm and they should probably get going.

“Sorry, Makoto!” Goshiki calls as they shuffle out of the building.   
  
She blushes. “I-it’s alright Tsutomu-kun,”

Shirabu raises a brow at Kawanishi. “‘Tsutomu’? Got some competition, eh?”

Kawanishi trips him.

* * *

When they pull up at McDonald’s, dressed to the nines—minus the Hello Kitty tracksuit—every patron ogles them shamelessly. It’s hard not to when a group of tall boys with ridiculous haircuts walk into a fast-food restaurant dressed like they’re going to a wedding.

When the cashier spots them, Kawanishi swears he can _ see  _ her soul leave her body. “Again? Really?”

“It is nice to see you again Katsuragi-san,”

She glowers at them. “I wish I could say likewise,” she replies, intonation flat. Kawanishi can  _ see _ her co-workers laughing at her. Slowly, she looks him up and down and smirks. “Nice outfit,”

Goshiki moves to stand a little closer to Kawanishi, indignant. Kawanishi shoots a pair of finger guns at her. “Thanks. I inherited it from my grandfather,”

“Sure.” Katsuragi drawls. She turns back to the team, voice completely apathetic. “Hello. Welcome to McDonald’s. What can I get for you today,”

Ushijima clears his throat. “I will have the 10 piece chicken McNugget meal, Fanta Melon. With the wasabi sauce as well, please,”

Goshiki lets out a distressed sound and Tendou pats him on the back. “It’s okay. It’s okay, let it out, I know.”

“Ushijima-senpai.  _ Why,” _ Goshiki nearly wails.

Ushijima wordlessly takes the Fanta Melon, stabs his straw, and loudly slurps on it. For a  _ very  _ long time.

He swallows. “Why not?”

Semi and Shirabu absolutely lose it. 

“I hate it here,” Goshiki mumbles.

“No, you don’t,” Tendou purrs.

“No, I don’t,” Goshiki sighs. “Ushijima-senpai is still very cool, even if I just lost a large amount of respect for him,”

“My apologies for having taste,” Ushijima apologizes, completely unapologetic. 

“How all of you are sober is beyond me,” Katsuragi grumbles.

“Ah,” Hayato says. “Are you sure about that?”

“God, I  _ wish _ I weren’t sober,” Kawanishi deadpans.

One by one, they make it through the line, ordering a large and disgusting variety of greasy fast food.

When Goshiki gets to the front of the line, Katsuragi looks as if she could walk through the depths of hell unfazed. She probably already has, working in the service industry, but still. He’s impressed. 

“Um, hi! Can I get a—”

“Can you wait a minute? I have to do something,” Katsuragi ducks under the counter to search for something and Goshiki makes a quizzical noise. He looks around, a feeling of unease growing in his gut when he spots her coworkers giggling.

“What’s happening?” he mutters.

When Katsuragi stands again, she’s wearing a party hat and a clown nose, a party horn clasped between her lips.

Goshiki’s flight or fight instincts light up.

“Con’grashu ‘lations,” she announces around the party horn. “You‘re our hundredth cusdomer of th’ day,” She blows into the horn and it unfurls to  _ boop  _ Goshiki in the nose with a kazoo noise. She takes it out and throws it behind her back without looking, where one of her coworkers catch it. “Here’s your prize,” Katsuragi procures a paper Burger King crown out of thin air and shoves it on Goshiki’s head before he can refuse. “Now you can order,”

Shirabu, who is fucking _ evil, _ sees an opportunity and takes it. “Guys, guys, we’re in the presence of royalty. Quick, bow down, bow down,” The team all bows to him and Goshiki wants to die. People are  _ staring. _ They are in  _ public. _

“God bless the queen,” Kawanishi announces.

“This is a McDonald’s. Why do you have a Burger King crown?” he whispers, horrified.

Katsuragi snorts. “No comment."

* * *

They’re walking back to school, leftovers of various sorts being carried by the group. Tendou and Ushijima are at the front, Tendou chattering on about a dog he got to pet the other day, Ushijima listening intently. Ushijima’s still holding his Fanta Melon, and they’re drinking out of the same cup with two straws.

Semi is not so subtly taking pictures of them to send to his friends on SNOW, editing the pictures so that they’re decorated with an obscene amount of hearts. Shirabu, Reon, and Hayato are talking about music, oddly enough, with Semi interjecting every so often. Hayato only talks in between the mouthfuls of fries he continues to shovel into his mouth, and Shirabu openly stares at him with a disgusted, yet fascinated gaze.

Goshiki and Kawanishi are walking a little further away, a small distance at the back of the group. Kawanishi is holding his track jacket over his shoulder, having shed it in favor of just wearing a white tank top with his tie. Goshiki is clutching a brown paper McDonalds bag and talking eagerly about anything and everything volleyball. He sways to and fro, gesturing his hands wildly, bumping shoulders and brushing against Kawanishi every so often.

Kawanishi waits patiently for his chattering to die down, interested but biding his time for something else. When Goshiki finishes his final spiel, Kawanishi pretends to yawn and stretches his arms up. When he drops them down, one curls around Goshiki’s waist protectively, pulling him snug against his side. “I’d say that trip was a success,” Kawanishi starts, nonchalant. “I’ll admit, I was suspicious at first, but that was kind of fun,”

Kawanishi looks down at his kouhai, who is now blushing furiously and looking to the side, trying to hide his face. “Uh, y-yeah,” Goshiki stutters out, shier than he had been moments ago. “It was… interesting.”

Kawanishi smirks, then flicks a finger against the Burger King crown still perched on Goshiki’s head. “I have to say though, I’m ecstatic to be in cahoots with the burger queen,” He leans down, taking full advantage of their meager height difference, and whispers directly into Goshiki’s ear. “I’m eager to serve, my liege.”

“Stop that!” Goshiki yelped, jerking to the side, but unable to escape Kawanishi’s grip. “I didn’t ask the cashier to embarrass me like that!” he pouts. “I don’t know why she had to pick on  _ me _ of all people, this wasn’t  _ my _ idea.”

Kawanishi laughs, raucous and unfettered in the night air. “Aw, don’t mind her. You’re just too easy to pick on,” He moves his arm up Goshiki’s body, coaxing him to lay his head on his shoulder as they walk. “You’re just too cute. You deserve a crown for it.”

Goshiki blushes even more, if possible, his face visibly red even in the darkness. “Don’t tease me,” he whispers.

Kawanishi cocks his head to the side like a confused bird. “I’m not teasing,” he mutters. “Just telling the truth.”

“Taichi?”

Kawanishi coughs, startled by Goshiki’s use of his given name despite the fact  _ he _ asked him to use it. “Yeah?”

“Can you look at me real quick?”

Kawanishi twists his neck to glance down, confused. “Huh?”

Goshiki stops in his tracks, making Kawanishi stumble slightly. 

Kawanishi frowns. “Is there something wrong?”

Goshiki makes a frustrated noise, cheeks puffing up. He takes a deep inhale, scrunches his eyes shut, and kisses Kawanishi on the mouth. 

Well, it’s more like the corner of his mouth, because Goshiki had his eyes closed. His aim was slightly off. Still. Goshiki kissed him.

It’s chaste, painfully innocent, nearly teasing in a way. Then Goshiki is backing away. Kawanishi touches his lip gingerly, the spot where he was kissed almost tingling.

Goshiki looks at the tips of his shoes, bashful. “Was that okay?” he asks nervously.

Kawanishi groans, to which Goshiki’s face falls. 

“Was it that bad?” he whispers, feeling a bit humiliated.

“NO! It was great! Just—ugh,” Unable to form the right words, Kawanishi decides to just go for it and properly kiss Goshiki. He catches him off guard, deciding to dip Goshiki for the kiss like the bastard that he is. It’s sloppy and full of teeth, and Goshiki whimpers when Kawanishi sticks his tongue into his mouth because he’s  _ tired of waiting, dammit. _ Distantly, he can hear someone wolf-whistle, undoubtedly one of their teammates. Without missing a beat, he flips them off.

After making out for a good twenty seconds in the middle of the street, he pulls away.

“Oh,” Goshiki whispers.

“Yeah,  _ oh.  _ It wasn’t bad at all,” Kawanishi links their hands together and marvels at the sight. He sighs melodramatically. “But now I owe Tendou two thousand yen.”

“What?” Goshiki yelps.  _ “Why? _ What for?”

“He bet me that you were going to kiss me before I did,” Kawanishi tells him, flat. “Dammit.”

Goshiki’s face lights up with understanding. “Wait,” He bites his lip, lost in thought. “Is that why he’s been telling me to just  _ ‘go for it’ _ for the last week?” He chews down on his lips even more, now distressed. “And why he told me  _ ‘tonight’s the night’ _ ?”

Kawanishi scowls. He tugs on Goshiki’s arm, pulling him forward to follow the group. “Tendou, you fucking cheater!” he hollers, ignoring the offended looks of innocent bystanders. “I’m not going to pay you two thousand yen! All bets are off!”

When they properly catch up to the group Tendou turns around and gasps in delight. “Congratulations to the happy couple!” he crows, completely ignoring Kawanishi’s accusations. “We were wondering when you two were going to stop dancing around each other!”

“Oh thank God, I don’t have to look at you two pine hopelessly after each other anymore,” Shirabu snickers.

“Yep,” Hayato says sagely. “It means we get to see them eye-fuck instead.”

Shirabu makes a gagging noise and Semi rolls his eyes. “No, but actually, congrats,” he pats Kawanishi on the shoulder. “I was the one who was whistling,” he tacks on helpfully.

“I’m aware,” Kawanishi replies dryly. “You’re the only one who can whistle properly.”

“Aw, thanks! I’ve been working on it.”

“You’re such a little shit,” Kawanishi complains. He glances over at Goshiki, unsurprised to see him slightly dazed. “Cat got your tongue?”

“Uh,” he clears his throat. “No. But  _ you _ did,” he blurts out.

Kawanishi blinks.

“I mean. He’s not wrong,” Reon points out. 

Kawanishi presses a kiss against Goshiki’s cheek if only to see him blush again.

Goshiki lets out a helpless little noise and honest-to-god  _ swoons, _ just for Kawanishi to catch him.

Shirabu makes another gagging noise. Semi wordlessly pulls out his phone. Tendou starts to clap, to which Hayato and Reon join. Ushijima just stands there, visibly confused. 

_ Yes, _ Kawanishi thinks, a shit-eating grin on his face, reveling in Goshiki’s flustered look.  _ This was a very successful night indeed.  _

* * *

Bonus:

Kawanishi’s sitting in his room, listening to music, when the door suddenly slams open. He jumps a foot in the air, then realizes it’s just Tendou. Clutching his shirt with his hand, he tries to still his rapidly thudding heart. “Haven’t you ever heard of knocking?” he gripes.

“Nah. Gotta have that element of surprise! Besides, it’s your own fault for not locking your door,” Tendou sticks his tongue out at him petulantly.

Kawanishi sighs. “Yeah, yeah. What do you want?”

“I come bearing a message,” Tendou clears his throat dramatically. “If you hurt Goshiki, I’ll break both of your arms~!” he sings, his voice juxtaposing the  _ absolutely terrifying _ look on his face.

Kawanishi shudders. “Uh, yeah, no complaints there,” he forces out, more intimidated than he would like to admit.

“Cool!” Tendou chirps, then ducks out of the doorway. Kawanishi exhales in relief, then startles back  _ again  _ when Ushijima materializes out of nowhere.

“Uh… Is there something I can do for you, Ushijima-senpai?” he asks, utterly perplexed.

“If you hurt Goshiki,” he booms, then pauses, looking slightly uncertain.   
  


Kawanishi silently despairs.  _ I feel like I’m getting threatened by Goshiki’s parents… _

“If you hurt Goshiki,” Ushijima repeats. “I hope you know sign language, because the only thing you will be seeing are ‘these hands’,” he finishes, clearly rehearsed. He glances to side, whispering, “Did I do that correctly?”   
  


Tendou must give him the go-ahead because Ushijima turns back to Kawanishi. “I hope, for both of us, that you do not mess up. There will be consequences if you do,” he vows, his eyes flashing dangerously.

Kawanishi holds his hands up in surrender. “Um, yeah, me too. No disagreement.”

Ushijima nods, then departs, leaving the door wide open.

Kawanishi, too lazy to get up and close it, for now, pulls out his phone and opens his texts. 

**me**

_ holy shit babe i think i just got threatened within an inch of my life _

**Tsutomu ଘ(੭ˊ꒳ˋ)੭✧**

_???? WHAT HAPPENED???? ((((；゜Д゜))) _

**me**

_ tendou and ushijima happened _

**me**

_ i’m never letting ushijima say he doesn’t have favorites again _

**Tsutomu ଘ(੭ˊ꒳ˋ)੭✧**

_???????  _

**me**

_ don’t worry about it _

**me**

_ hey i think my roommate’s got a study group going on for a while, wanna come over and make out with me _

**Tsutomu ଘ(੭ˊ꒳ˋ)੭✧**

_ I’LL BE THERE IN 10 _

**me**

_ take your time _

**Tsutomu ଘ(੭ˊ꒳ˋ)੭✧**

_ I’LL BE THERE IN 5 _

**me**

_ tsutomu if you run into ANOTHER wall on your way here i’m never going to let you live it down _

**Author's Note:**

> (goshiki DID run into a wall again on the way there just an fyi)
> 
> said hello kitty tracksuit linked [HERE](https://www.asos.com/us/puma/puma-x-hello-kitty-joggers/prd/9296690) (umm it's actually kind of fire??? anyways) additionally,[ the wasabi chicken mcnugget sauce is real and probably an affront to god](https://soranews24.com/2017/04/21/mcdonalds-adds-wasabi-and-teriyaki-sauces-to-their-chicken-mcnuggets-in-japan/)
> 
> SNOW is more popular in japan than snapchat from what i remember!! also the burger king crown is based on a real thing as well lmao. shoutout to my beta-reader keridwen ([ao3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilleeboi/) and [tumblr](https://lilleeboi.tumblr.com/)) who didn't beta read this one specifically but has been lovely and encouraging for this entire week!!
> 
> [tumblr](https://irleggsywrites.tumblr.com/)|[instagram](https://www.instagram.com/oborokoto/)|irleggsywrites@gmail.com
> 
> please leave a comment on your way out, it's the only way my stupid lizard brain stays motivated to write <3 thanks for reading!


End file.
